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| On Health-nuts...; Joe holman's blog stuff | |
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| Topic Started: Nov 16 2008, 06:28 AM (1,175 Views) | |
| Post #1 Nov 16 2008, 06:28 AM | Joe E. Holman |
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My latest personal Blog entry... http://joeholmansblog.blogspot.com/2008/11/on-health-nuts.html On Health-nuts… There are many types of nutcases in the world. There are religious nuts. As you probably know, they make up a huge percentage of the world’s population. Then there are conspiracy theorist nuts, both on the left and on the right side of the political isle. Nuts on the far left say that George Bush and the government were behind the attacks on 9-11, while nuts on the far right say that Lyndon Johnson played a key role in the assassination of JFK. They’re all fucking nuts, I say! But there is another kind of nut, a class of nut that can sometimes be more disturbing than sitting around the couch after Thanksgiving dinner with Uncle Ed and hearing him wonder aloud whether or not the smoke of 9-11 came from secretly placed fires set in dumpsters, or whether or not Lee Harvey worked alone. The type of nut I am talking about is the health-nut. The vocal health-nut is very much like a fundamentalist religionist, who honestly thinks he can alter his destiny and the destinies of others significantly by simple diet alterations. The religionist thinks he can alter his fate and the fates of others by babbling at the sky, by making intercession to heaven. Perhaps a tragedy can be prevented, perhaps a soul saved by calling out, by begging the almighty to change his gloriously laid-down plans to grant their selfishly lame, titty-baby petitions. Such thinking is…well…just dumb! But the health-nut is every bit as dumb. They go through life thinking that eating that extra bowl of Honey Wheat Cheerios or Wheaties with some wheat germ poured on it that tastes like ass, or sucking down those disgusting-as-hell rice patties with apple butter spread on them will actually lengthen their pathetic, puny lives. They scan the shelves at the grocery store for greens and anything that says “heart healthy.” They fall down and worship at the altar of “getting plenty of greens.” Fuck them, I say! It’s bullshit. Eating right might (just might!) keep away the common cold. That is all. Eating healthy will not lengthen your life. Your lifespan is almost exclusively determined by your genetics, which means short of taking in poison or working in smog for 30 years at some run-down, sweat-shop-like factory in Michigan or Houston, there’s really no way to shorten your life. Yes, you’re gonna die when you’re gonna die, mothafucka! Not a damn thing you can do about it. But count on that indomitable part of man to take charge and insist that he can master his destiny, that he can take control of his fate. This never-dying tendency of man so sickens me that words scarcely describe it. But what really makes health-nuts nuttier than them all is their Nazi-like insistence that everyone else live the same lifestyle that they have chosen for themselves. Like I need to live on fucking grapenuts! Screw that! And oatmeal? Oatmeal blows! I get my fiber from beans—in breakfast tacos and delicious Mexican food, and that has got to be enough. If it isn’t, fuck it! And I don’t need 8 glasses of water a day. I drink when I’m thirsty, thank you very much. And the idea that 8 glasses of water – for all people of all sizes in all conditions – is wrong and totally stupid anyway. I get my greens through beef and broccoli stir-fry and from freshly made salsa with cilantro. So forgive me for bowing out of your bottled water-toting idiocy, health-nut! And listening to a health-nut is as bad as it gets! Fucking EVERYTHING is bad for you to a health-nut—even water, because it has minerals, and minerals can give you kidney stones! Lettuce gives you kidney stones, as do sodas and coffee. Aspartame is bad for you too, even though you ingest it because you gave up sugar, which made you fat and unhealthy in the first place. Red meat is bad for you, but fish is bad too because it contains mercury, and poultry products contain salmonella, which is basically death on a plate. Rice has niacin and riboflavin, both needed nutrients, but rice is a starch, and starches too are bad for you because they turn to sugar! Corn has Vitamin A, but guess what? It also turns to sugar! So I guess everything that casts a shadow is bad for you, right, you fucking health-nut?! Nothing’s ever good enough for a health-nut…except their own little anal ways of doing things, which parallels the drivel we hear from the religious fundamentalists, from the Jerry Fallwells and Dr. D. James Kennedys and other oppressive, fascist, toad-like creatures, who insist that they’ve got all the right answers. Follow them=good! Don’t follow them=bad! Support them financially=great! Don’t support them financially=oh my god, that’s awful!!!!!!!!!! But the saddest part of it all is, the health-nut is probably going to die before my out-of-shape ass will! I’ve seen the healthiest get Type 1 diabetes, get cancer, suffer kidney failure, suffer from blood and chemical disorders of different kinds, and die of a sudden heart attack. I’ve seen men run 5 miles a day and bench 350 pounds and then have to undergo debilitating chemotherapy. I’ve seen a mailman who walked everyday of his life who ate a perfectly balanced diet lose both legs to diabetes before 60. He was a thin man too. It all comes out in the wash, and when it does, no one’s got the goods on anyone else. Your body quits when your body quits. There’s no rhyme or reason to it. And that’s why 90-year-old Ima May Jenkins who lives down the street from your mom and has smoked since age 9 is still kicking while you’ve been fighting off bad allergies non-stop since nursery school. They tell you that you get diabetes from eating poorly and being overweight. That’s bullshit. There have been too many exceptions to the rule for this to be true. Maybe that’s anecdotal evidence, but so fucking what? I’m comfortable with the conviction. So take your goddamn wheatgrass and jump off a grassy cliff, health-nut! (JH) Edited by Joe E. Holman, Nov 16 2008, 06:29 AM.
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| Post #2 Nov 17 2008, 02:13 AM | Bonzolee |
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I agree on the emergence of health nuts in this culture, and I also think the way this country views body image is totally fucked up. Some people just will not be able to achieve a certain look. Period. Stop spending money on bullshit, people. A lot of this stuff is mind numbing. I mean, you've got people who think that people who look a certain way don't respect themselves. Well, that's bullshit for quite a few reasons. But, one reason is that the person may actually be in better shape than the morons casting these judgments! And, how about the fuckheads who feel they HAVE to be superior to others when it comes to health. Oh, they'll brag to you all day and point out all the mistakes you are making. They feel they are just a flat out superior human. Maybe one day, you can be like them. Please... But, there are a few things one can do. I stretch when I can (I wanted to learn those David Lee Roth kicks... silly reason, right?), and I have a good jogging schedule that is part of my overall drum program. My main drink of choice is water, and after that it's probably something in the juice category. I also like to drink red wine. Really awesome stuff. Just had some "fucking merlot!" earlier tonight. But I also drink more soda than I should. I'm also a popcorn fiend. I've actually been moving towards a more healthy diet to help save some money, gain some new skills in the kitchen (fresh food, baby!), and get the most out of my body (for drumming, thinking, and what not). Found some new foods that taste pretty damn good. I still get more sugar than I should, and I indulge in too many damn junk foods. I've been moving away from that sort of stuff, but I can't imagine ever totally "x"ing that stuff out! Plus, I get my fair share of shitty meals because of my cash situation and all. I don't even like fast food joints, but some of the cheap stuff I get from the grocery store can't be all that good for you. I'd like to have more fresh meals than I do, but I can't afford it at the moment. I also think some of the questions posed, like: "Where did your food come from?" "How was it prepared?" and stuff like that are great questions to ask. The more you know, right? Really, I just try my best to balance shit out. And, I actually like oatmeal. Oatmeal can rock. You know what else rules? A big ass steak with a loaded baked potato, with a kick ass brownie sundae and 2 bottles of Rolling Rock. Cajun styled fish also rule. I also like almonds. I'll eat the hell out of those. Big fan of Mexican and Italian food too. I eat the "big salad" fairly often, too. I just try to balance stuff out so I'm eating all sorts of stuff. Plus, I get tons of physical activity each day because it's just a side effect of my lifestyle and all. The only thing I really "force" myself to do is jog. I don't force myself to do any specific diet stuff either. Do what's necessary or helpful towards one's life, and enjoy yourself. That's my view of things. A lot of the stuff out there in this culture is false or misleading when it comes to this sort of stuff, but one can greatly benefit from a lot of physical activity and a pretty decent diet. Did you hear about the recent study on obesity and the Amish? Be aware of what's out there. Because, these health trends that are happening in our culture are not just simply genetics. You damn right diet and lifestyle play a key role in some of this stuff. Nobody's going to cheat death, but you could make the "machine" run a little bit smoother. I'm just trying to get the most out of my body. Trying to get the most out of my drumming. Trying to get the most out of my genetics (wicked fast metabolism; want to keep that going as long as possible!). But you damn right I'll be enjoying myself too! Which reminds me: I'll be eating the hell out of a pumpkin pie come Thanksgiving. I'll also be playing Poker all night, and I've been talking mad game to everyone. Better win! |
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* Person A: Everything that exists needs a creator. * Person B: What about the creator of everything? * Person A: Well... he doesn't count. | |
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| Post #3 Nov 17 2008, 08:16 PM | Perry |
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Even moderation ought not to be practised to excess. So I'm told. I'm a vegetarian, so probably fit the health-nut label. I get irked by the two-legged garbage grinders who tell me I'm a waste of rabbit food. Genes do play a big part, but, like high-performance cars, put an idiot behind the wheel and a crash becomes more likely. Human garbage grinders will have about the same quantity of life as a similarly-gened, but more health- conscious person, but quality comes into it, as well. Somewhere along the line, there does seem to be enough anecdotal evidence to support the notion that some health-nuts do do better, generally. Besides, you're all vegetarians - just that some are first-hand and most are second hand.  All flesh is grass. (Proverbs, Joe?) |
Con fused jus
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| Post #4 Nov 17 2008, 11:28 PM | Bonzolee |
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Yeah, the body is sort of like a vehicle. That's what I was kind of getting at. Personally, there are areas I look to improve upon, and I've taken actions in those areas. But, I'd rate my health as satisfactory. I'm satisfied with it, and my last blood test results came back great (however, there is a good chance I could have inherited some rather unlucky heart stuff, but that's decades away. Right now, my health is great, but there are all sorts of genetics between my mom and dad. Some of the stuff is great, some of it is a concern.) But, I'm the type of person that's always looking to improve in just about everything I do. There were habits of mine that could definitely be long term trouble, and I've cut back greatly on them. In fact, I've found even better tasting alternatives to some things! But like I said, I'm willing to trade off some x for y when it comes to food. I'll knowingly eat stuff I know will most likely do more harm than good just because of the taste. But, I'd say I keep everything under control rather well. Of course, there are plenty of great tasting, rather healthy foods as well. Plus, like I said, I get tons of physical activity. I just try to find the right blend of enjoyment and health. Like many things, it's a journey, not a destination.
I wouldn't say so. Why are you a vegetarian? Ethical reasons? Like the food more? Enjoy the benefits of the diet? When I think of a health nut, I think of a specific type. America is so obsessed with looks and dieting, but the actual reality of the situation tells a very different story. To me, a "health nut" (the way Joe's talking) gives off an air of superiority, and feels they must get everyone else on their plan. It's the only way to go. You have to value the same things they do. Kind of like those jackass ex alcoholics. You know, the ones who can't even be in a room with someone who has alcohol. They almost treat you as if you're bound for hell if you drink a few glasses of wine. "You're killing yourself, man!" Shit, want to have a beer with your meal? Better think twice, because according to the alcoholic jackass, you have a disease and you are in a dark place. No way is it possible in their mind for someone to actually enjoy alcohol now and then without turning into a vodka guzzling nightmare. South Park actually did a great episode on that. "No dad, you can drink beer. You just have to have discipline, like my karate instructor teaches" "So... I can have 1 beer while I watch the game?" "Sure" "2?" "Yeah, that's fine" "5?" "All right, that's kind of pushing it" "20?" "Dad... discipline" Here's the link if anyone's interested; great episode: http://www.southparkstudios.com/episodes/103677 On a random side note: Anyone here other than myself happen to think mangos are absolutely delicious? Those things rock! They rock! |
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* Person A: Everything that exists needs a creator. * Person B: What about the creator of everything? * Person A: Well... he doesn't count. | |
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| Post #5 Nov 18 2008, 04:14 AM | Perry |
A bit of all those. Ethical/philosophical at the top of the list. (As you may recall from a related discussion of many weeks back)
My lady will go 100% along with that notion. Maybe 200%? |
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| Post #6 Nov 19 2008, 11:00 AM | Huxley |
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I mustard mit I am allergic to health nuts. At least the ones who preach. Simple fact is, humans evolved to be omniverous and our bodies tuned to food that was generally hard to come by except for sheer hard work. Now food is readily available and we are too sedentary. A little of everything is probably just right, unless there are contraindications to something like high sugar etc. You can prize the peanut butter from my cold dead hands. |
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| Post #7 Nov 19 2008, 05:45 PM | Joe E. Holman |
| My brother was actually the one in mind when I wrote this. He waxes militant in his insistence on health. You and I, Perry, have had some good conversations on this, but never in a million years would I class you as a "health-nut." You're a healthy living guy, but not the Nazi I had in mind at all, buddy. |
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| Post #8 Nov 20 2008, 11:38 PM | Bonzolee |
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Yeah, I agree. I don't know your brother, but I get a certain image of my head when you talk about these health nuts. I've met the type before. |
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* Person A: Everything that exists needs a creator. * Person B: What about the creator of everything? * Person A: Well... he doesn't count. | |
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| Post #9 Dec 6 2008, 10:51 PM | iPatch |
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Funny thing -- the 8 glasses of water per day turns out to be pure urban legend. HNs come in 3 flavors: Those fearing death and wanting to forestall it, those who see the fundamental biochemistry and want to practice and communicate the practical aspects, and those who seek in some fashion control over their lives. iPatch |
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| Post #10 Dec 8 2008, 03:43 AM | Perry |
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Shall I throw in a bit of religion, here? Among other things? Health-nuts seem to come in two flavours. Eco-centric and ego-centric. The first one's good for the planet; the next one is good for me, me, me! I'm a hybrid. The ratio shifts, depending on circumstances. "Wherefore art thou, Gene-io?" Our genes do play such a huge part in this. (The following is not intended as a back- stabbing exercise!) So here I am, a vegetarian-eating, rum 'n' cola drinking wine-bibber, on zero pills-a-day. My religionist lady, well, she rattles from all the (phaith doesn't work) meds she must swallow, every day!  Phaith just moves mountains of pills, daily. |
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| Post #11 Dec 8 2008, 11:10 AM | Huxley |
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Surely her pills are a result of scientific effort - not phaith? If God smites indiscriminately then surely he wudda had a bead on you Perry and not the Missus? I forget that it might just be a test of course. |
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| Post #12 Dec 9 2008, 03:29 AM | Perry |
 Test of wot? As for beads, the only ones presently in evidence are those of perspiration. As for the said sky pixie, it wouldn't know how, 'cos all the muskets have been beaten into derivative certificates, right? Of course they are. It's just the phaint phaith of pheeble phlanges that move them phorcephully into the mouth. Edited by Perry, Dec 9 2008, 03:32 AM.
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| Post #13 Dec 9 2008, 05:34 AM | Huxley |
Phookin' 'ell! |
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| Post #14 Jan 2 2009, 11:32 PM | Dane Eidson |
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Great wisdom is to be gained from buying only the peanut butter that requires you to stir it before you can eateth it. For you are what you eateth. Better to be a peanut than a simple nut. But if ye put two nuts together then ye shall find them in a sack and thou shalt be careful not to stir them too aggresively for this shall bring ye great pains. Honk at the cows as ye drive by them. Do not do no harm to these beasts. They shall enjoy thou honks, especially those with bells around their necks, for their horns are broketh and they canst not honk back at thee. I received all the above while in a trance during my starvation diet so as not to be a fat bodyest. |
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| Post #15 Jan 3 2009, 04:05 AM | Bonzolee |
 Back when I was in high school, I once got dehydrated so bad that I had to leave my Health class to go to the nurse. I just remember sweating like hell, and then my line of vision started getting smaller. I took a spill on the way to the nurse's, and some random people I didn't know helped me get back up. It was cool though, because as I was in the "wellness center" recovering, I totally missed the video in class that showed a woman giving birth; perfect timing as usual. Sometimes, not drinking water after playing basketball for an hour and a half in gym can be a great decision. True story. |
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* Person A: Everything that exists needs a creator. * Person B: What about the creator of everything? * Person A: Well... he doesn't count. | |
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