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A Blonde Graduates to Heaven . . .; . . . by defeating the examiner.
Topic Started: Nov 10 2009, 08:55 PM (112 Views)
Post #1 Nov 10 2009, 08:55 PM Perry
A Blonde was sent on her way to Heaven. Upon arrival,
a concerned St Peter met her at the Pearly Gates. 'I'm
sorry,' St Peter said; 'But Heaven is suffering from an
overload of goodly souls and we have been forced to put
up an Entrance Exam for new arrivals to ease the burden
of Heavenly Arrivals.'

'That's cool' said the blonde, 'What does the Entrance
Exam consist of?'

'Just three questions' said St Peter.

'Which are,' asked the blonde?

'The first,' said St Peter, 'is, which two days of the
week start with the letter 'T?' '

The second is 'How many seconds are there in a year?'

The third is 'What was the name of the swagman in
Waltzing Matilda?'

'Now,' said St Peter, 'Go away and think about those
questions and when I call upon you, I shall expect you
to have those answers for me.'

So the blonde went away and gave those three questions
some considerable thought (You're expected to do the same).

The following morning, St Peter called upon the blonde
and asked if she had considered the questions, to which
she replied, 'I have.'

'Well then,' said St Peter, 'Which two days of the week
start with the letter T?'

The blonde replied, 'Today and Tomorrow.'

St Peter pondered this answer for some time and decided
that indeed the answer can be applied to the question.

'Well then, could I have your answer to the second of the
three questions?' St Peter went on, 'how many seconds in
a year?'

The Blonde replied, 'Twelve!'

'Only twelve?' exclaimed St Peter, 'How did you arrive at
that figure?'

'Easy,' said the blonde, 'there's the second of January,
the second of February, right through to the second of
December, giving a total of twelve seconds.'

St Peter looked at the blonde and said, 'I need some time
to consider your answer before I can give you a decision.'
And he walked away shaking his head.

A short time later, St Peter returned to the Blonde. 'I'll
allow that answer to stand, but you need to get the third
and final question absolutely correct to be allowed into
Heaven. Now, can you tell me the answer to the name of
the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?'

The blonde replied: 'Of the three questions, I found that
to be the easiest to answer.'

'Really,' exclaimed St Peter! 'Then what is the answer?'

'It's Andy.'

'Andy??'

'Yes, Andy,' said the blonde.

This totally floored St Peter and he paced this way and
that, deliberating the answer. Finally, he could not stand
the suspense any longer, and turning to the blonde, asked
'How in God's name did you arrive at THAT answer?'

'Easy' said the blonde, 'Andy sat, Andy watched, Andy
waited till his Billy boiled.'

And lo, the blonde entered Heaven...
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